Just a wee chat

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About Just a wee chat
Rohan

Rohan A van der Have

Life Coach and Mentor

Accountability coaching
Confidence coaching
Addiction coaching
Lifestyle Coaching

Just a wee chat is a coaching and mentoring service. We understand that your life gets really really messy at times and that when it gets that way it becomes harder and harder to reach out to someone because no one could possibly understand what you are going through, no one has lived what you have and no one is you. Just a wee chat gives a low barrier option for anyone that has the need to talk to someone and wants to grow as a person. Anyone that feels like they are not moving forward anymore in life and feels that coaching and mentoring could make the difference. Just a wee chat is the beginning of a much larger conversation, a conversation that could potentially change your life.

Life can get away from you at times and it can get overwhelming for anyone. Often we forget how much it helps to have someone standing with you and supporting you along the way. whatever the role you fulfill in your life is, I am sure you could identify to situations where you know that having a coach to train you and stand by you would have made a difference. It makes a huge difference in sports, celebrities everywhere enjoy the benefits of a life coach do you not think it is time you also took advantage of the services of a coach, motivation, training, practice, and life-matches all come together with a coach and give you the best opportunity for success in any area of your life.

What We Offer

Real Life Experience

In dealing with my own long journey of addiction, depression, illness and near-death life has now given me the opportunity to talk to others about their addictions and troubles from a genuine "I have been there" point of view.

Unique Approach

Throughout my life, I have learned that the approach laid out in the books isn't always the best way and to expect a person to reflect genuinely they must see a genuine reflection of what they are but also what they can become. I will teach you how to value yourself again.

Private or Small Groups

Some people respond best on their own one on one, but others prefer being in a crowd or group. At Just a wee chat, you can choose the environment that works best for you. group counselling sessions or one on one time.

Short & Focused Lessons

Every lesson is 45 minutes long, for optimal effectiveness. You can have one, two or four sessions per week, depending upon your plan choice.

Conversation starters

Change begins with Just a wee chat...

Anger Management

Anger is a normal, healthy emotion. But it can be a problem if you find it difficult to keep it under control.

"You can control your anger, and you have a responsibility to do so," says clinical psychologist Isabel Clarke, a specialist in anger management.

Dealing with anger

"Everyone has a physical reaction to anger. Be aware of what your body is telling you, and take steps to calm yourself down," says Isabel.

Recognise your anger signs

Your heart beats faster and you breathe more quickly, preparing you for action. You might also notice other signs, such as tension in your shoulders or clenching your fists. "If you notice these signs, get out of the situation if you have got a history of losing control," says Isabel.

Count to 10

Counting to 10 gives you time to cool down, so you can think more clearly and overcome the impulse to lash out.

Breathe slowly

Breathe out for longer than you breathe in and relax as you breathe out. "You automatically breathe in more than out when you're feeling angry, and the trick is to breathe out more than in," says Isabel. "This will calm you down effectively and help you think more clearly."

Managing anger in the long term

Once you can recognise that you're getting angry and can calm yourself down, you can start looking at ways to control your anger more generally.

Exercise can help with anger

Bring down your general stress levels with exercise and relaxation. Running, walking, swimming, yoga and meditation are just a few activities that can reduce stress. "Exercise as part of your daily life is a good way to get rid of irritation and anger," says Isabel.

Looking after yourself may keep you calm

Make time to relax regularly and ensure that you get enough sleep. Drugs and alcohol can make anger problems worse. "They lower inhibitions and, actually, we need inhibitions to stop us acting unacceptably when we're angry," says Isabel.

Get creative

Writing, making music, dancing or painting can release tension and reduce feelings of anger.

Talk about how you feel

Discussing your feelings with a friend can be useful and help you get a different perspective on the situation.

Let go of angry thoughts

"Try to let go of any unhelpful ways of thinking," says Isabel. "Thoughts such as 'it's not fair', or 'people like that shouldn't be on the roads', can make anger worse." Thinking like this will keep you focused on whatever it is that's making you angry. Let these thoughts go and it'll be easier to calm down.

Try to avoid using phrases that include:

• always (for example, "you always do that")
• never ("you never listen to me")
• should or shouldn't ("you should do what I want," or "you shouldn't be on the roads")
• must or mustn't ("I must be on time" or "I mustn't be late")
• ought or oughtn't ("people ought to get out of my way")
• not fair

Anxiety, fear and anger

Sometimes when people talk about "anger", what they actually mean is aggression,
says Dr James Woollard, a consultant child and adolescent psychiatrist.

"Often when people experience or appear to show anger, it's because they're also feeling fear or perceive a threat, and they're responding with a 'fight' response to this." "Asking yourself 'what might I be scared of?' can give you a different set of choices about how to respond," says Dr Woollard.

"You might be angry that something hasn't gone your way. But you may also be scared that you might be blamed or hurt as result.
Recognising this might allow you to think and act differently."

"Managing your anger is as much about managing your happiness and contentment as your anger," adds Dr Woollard.
"It should be a part of developing your emotional intelligence and resilience."

Dealing with disappointment

Everybody faces disappointment at some point in their lives some more often than others, but we all have to deal with it. Now disappointments come in all shapes and sizes, you could be disappointed because you didn’t win the lottery again this week, a small disappointment that you expected and will get over in a second, the entire process of acceptance is rushed through in a split second and all is well again. With bigger disappointments however most people need a little time to process them and give them a place in their lives in order to be able to move on from them. This is often harder than you might at first think it is going to be. When you are disappointed in a big way, for example you have been promised a big promotion at work and you have been working towards that promotion for years and it has been within reach for so long, all you had to do was wait until the old guy finally retired or kicked the bucket, I mean imagine that’s how bad you wanted this promotion and then when the old guy finally retires the company instead of promoting you as promised hires an outside hire and you remain in your position as before. This kind of disappointments leads to many emotional responses, the first one usually being anger, followed by disbelieve and a whole range of emotions. What can you do with all these emotions? Should you let it all out on your boss or new colleague, take it home with you and unleash on your spouse or kids? No of course not but you should certainly not bottle it up. Find a healthy release for your anger, go kickboxing or take your friends out for an airsoft match or find another release to give your emotions a healthy outlet. Of course, you can cry and feel helpless or betrayed etc but important is that you have a release for these emotions that is positive and will benefit you in the long run, in this way you will turn a negative into a positive.

After you have let your emotions out it is time to adjust your mindset.

Take a moment or longer if needed to put your problem into perspective and if possible get input from a trusted friend or family member but ideally somebody that isn’t as close to you personally but is able to view the situation objectively, someone like a coach or a mentor, a pastor a teacher etc. Putting your disappointment into perspective will most times give you the realisation that it is not the end of the world and with the added perspective of your coach or other trusted individual you soon see that there are other options there for you that perhaps are even a better match for yourself. If this is not the case and even with your own perspective and that of another there seem to be no positive side to this disappointment you will be able to put it at the top of the list of things you want to work towards never happening again and take steps in your personal life where you have perhaps dropped the ball a bit or could have done things differently and work on yourself and create a better version of yourself from the disappointment and again turning that negative into a positive thing for you in the long run.

When you have let it all out and taken the time to rationally put your disappointment into perspective it is important that you take a moment and be grateful.

Be grateful? Why? Why on earth would you be grateful when you have just had to deal with the worst disappointment in your life? Why would you even think about being grateful. Let me tell you why, being grateful will give you a positive feeling, gratefulness is a positive emotion and when you start to put things into perspective you would have seen that there is a lot in your life that you can be grateful for. You have your health, your family, your job, your car, your friends, etc etc, and when you think of all those that are so far worse off than you, those that have no jobs at all, those that get by on pennies with benefits, those in war zones etc etc etc. When you do this does it not only justifiably minimise your problem and disappointment it makes you feel good for all the things that you do have, and it will work towards adjusting your mindset.

Now when you have gone through all that it is also okay to take a moment to reflect on yourself and nurse your wound. Take a day or two, treat yourself to an ice cream, do whatever it is that make you feel better (within healthy limits) and take some time to heal.

Taking the time to heal and to reflect on what you can learn from the situation are very important steps and should not be taken lightly. You must be healed and ready to face a similar situation again before you move on.

Expectations might have to be adjusted.

After you have reflected, healed and put things in perspective it could be the case that you need to adjust your expectations. Maybe you come to the conclusion that you were just not prepared enough and if you don’t make a change you will need to get used to the idea of remaining where you are. So, adjust your expectation or improve yourself.

Keep a positive outlook

All this moving forward and adjusting of mindset can be daunting in its own right and create and add a secondary strain of fear of failure to the mix. When this happens and all throughout it is important to keep a positive outlook and frame of mind. Your mindset must remain focused on a positive future outcome of a similar or identical situation. So, whatever you do keep your eyes fixed on the silver lining and if there isn’t create one by turning a negative onto a positive as we have done before in this article.

Moving Forward

When you are moving forward and have made your mind up to not look back anymore it is time to take a break before you take action again. Relax and do somethings you have always love doing or always wanted to do. Do something that will free your spirit. For some it is something crazy and for others it is as simple as spending time with family and friends with a cuppa.

While you are having this great time there is a very large chance you won’t have forgotten about your predicament completely and now completely fresh and focused it is time to hatch, create, shape and form a new master plan.

Your new plan might take you in a different direction than you expected so it is important to be open to new opportunities.

A plan that was going one way is easily derailed and taken in a completely other direction. Your plan might have been to become manager at your own company but opportunities outside of your company are suddenly becoming a possibility as well. I mean hey they didn’t value you enough so why not right?

New opportunities are great, and they renew your vitality and freshen your mind. When you see opportunities and when you are able to take advantage of them of at least see the possibilities it will inspire you. Don’t be afraid to dream and get inspired over something completely out of your comfort zone, it will leave a positive footprint behind and it will act as an anchor to remain inspired in the future when you are inevitably going to face disappointment again.

Facing future disappointments.

When you are faced with misery again remember how you handled it before and go to your anchor of a positive outcome to remind you of the path you have to take.

Learn from your mistakes.

Don’t lose hope and stay focused are very important. Don’t only listen to the advice of people to close to your situation but gain outside perspective again and if necessary, go through all the steps again.

Life will keep throwing up curve balls and great big boulders in your direction, but it is our tasks to where possible turn the negatives into future positives and rely on coaches and mentors to guide us when we lose way a bit ourselves.

Never be afraid of a disappointment always try and if you are stuck remember that change begins with JUST A WEE CHAT.

Fear

WHAT IS FEAR?

Webster's dictionary describes fear as follows: an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger.

We have all been afraid of things in our lives,. Things that frightened deeply like the death of a loved one or being confronted with your own mortality. Sometimes it's fear of something you know that is coming, like a threat or verdict or result, it could be the certainty of what's coming that's creates the fear or its the exact opposite and it is not being sure and the feelings of doubt that cause fear, the fear of the unknown. for me it was nightmares or terrors I remember as my first real fear. The dreams were of me being dragged away from my family, in the dream I was running and being chased, I ran down the street and climbed up onto a Phone booth, I used to end up on top of that phone booth screaming and crying while all these hands tried to grab me and take me away, that was always the point I woke up but that fear remained with me for a very long time, the fear to be taken away and abandoned. This fear to me was so real and scary the way fears so often are to the person experiencing them. My fear originated in me being adopted and not knowing my birth family and having little to no knowledge of them. This had inadvertently but inevitably instilled this fear in me.

We have all felt different fears to various degrees at some points in our lives, fear in some form and in some situations, from the fear of spiders to the fear of dying, from the fear of failing an exam to the fear of being left out, whether it is a fear of something or the fear to do something we all know it. Fear can seem like the most powerful emotion we have and can be absolutely paralysing, and stop us in our tracks when we are trying to accomplish something. So what can we do to get rid or get over our various fears? There are so many ways, tonnes more than I am going to go over today, I am going to go over some of them I have found helpful myself and hope they can help you too.

When you are first confronted with confrontational fear we react a certain as a matter of fact with a fear of any kind you experience certain physiological responses such as an elevated heartbeat, dilated pupils, sweaty palms, change of colour and so on. Even remembering a time you were afraid or imagining a situation where you are afraid creates these physiological responses. STOP!! Don't react. Its important to not respond to the fear any further, it is important to take an immediate step back for a moment and distance yourself from the source of your fear. Distance yourself so you give your body time to calm down from the shock and give your mind time to catch up. Important is to breath. We of course always breath but now it is important to take a moment to consciously and slowly breath in and out. If you are very scared it can be helpful to place your hand on your stomach and slowly breathe through the panic you are experiencing from the shock when you were confronted with something you fear.

Another way to get over your fears is by simply confronting them head-on. Now, this doesn't always work straight away as certain things just scare you shitless but by repeating this process of confronting your fear head-on you can learn to breathe into the panic a little more each time and with time get over your fear or at least be able to control yourself when confronted by your fear.

I only was able to deal with my fear of abandonment completely quite recently. Like I said my fear stemmed from my adoption and after 36 years I was reunited with my birth mother and family. After that reunion that fear fell away completely, although I had learned to both mask it and live with it quite well it now was really gone and so in this it shows that both answers and confrontation can be very effective ways to get rid of fear. Now my adoption story has many aspects and it is a story I will probably speak about more when talking about other life skills and emotional responses as it obviously is a big part of me.

Anyway as I was saying Answers or in other words information can take away a lot of fear. If you don't know how to do something you are going to be afraid to even attempt to do it especially in front of people when you don't know how but once you are informed with all the information and are taught how to, the fear disappears. Or you received the information a loved one got home safely and the fear for their safety is lifted. Information or answers can help take care of many fears. Then of course there is a different kind of fear, the kind when you are in danger of physical harm. Here answers will usually not help take the fear away. A load of answers won't stop a fire burning or a punch landing, words won't stop a car your in that's spinning out of control or help you out when your being chased by a mob. So how do you deal with fears like this that are caused by an immediate threat to your physical wellbeing. The examples I listed are some of the situations I have found myself in when fearing for my life or welbeing. I was once in a boat fire and I remember how frightening that was. those moments of complete paralyzing fear when you still have to act. How do you deal with them? Well the same way as a smaller confrontational fear, you take a step back and breath, so your mind can catch up and tell you how to confront your fear rationally and effectively. The biggest mistake you can make is to react to fear with the first emotion that comes naturally, some get paralysed, some start crying, some start yapping and some run away but it is a mistake. A mistake because you haven't conquered your fear. Take a step back and breathe, analyse the rationale of your fear and then confront it. Do it together with your family or friends, it is okay to ask for help to confront your fears. Doesn't matter if it's a irrational fear of spiders or it is a much deeper rooted and more emotional fear it has these actions in their foundation and can be of help to successfully confronting and overcoming your fears.

Finally for today, I want to ask you what the most important thing to do is when you have successfully succeeded in something? * that's right you reward yourself or get rewarded. Reward yourself with a fear well faced and overcome by buying yourself something or treating yourself to tell yourself well done, I am proud of you and you can do it this again!.

Remember that all change can begin with just a wee chat.

New Job Jitters

NEW JOB JITTERS? HERE IS HOW TO GET READY

So you’ve managed to bag yourself a great new job. Congratulations! The tough bit’s over… or is it?
With your first day swiftly approaching, you may start to feel just a little bit nervous, a little bit underprepared and a little bit hesitant.

Do something about it!
There are ways to prepare yourself before you even set foot through the door.

1. Plan your outfit

There is nothing worse than walking into the office on your first day and realising that you’re outrageously underdressed.
You’re bound to feel a little uncomfortable and it’s not going to look great to your new employers either.
So, I always recommend planning your first day outfit early.

During the interview you may have been able to pick up on the office dress code, but if not, all you have to do is drop a line to your new boss (or any other contact you might have) and ask!
This will take the pressure off you to make a decision. Alternatively, if the company are heavily-involved in social media, you might be able to check out their profile and see what kinds of things employees wear. Or you could check out the “About Us” page of their website.

Recruiter Pro Tip

It’s always better to appear too smart than too casual (at least it looks like you care). And during your first week, it’s important to keep up that effort, even if others around you don’t.
Remember, you’re still trying to make a good impression, your co-workers have (probably) already proved themselves. If you look good, you’ll feel good so why not go splurge on a whole new outfit?

2. Stalk your co-workers (online)

Your first day in the office is going to be a blur of names, rules, roles and regulations. So to give yourself a bit of a head start so you can fit into the team that little bit easier, it’s always a good idea to do some research, before you start. Using LinkedIn, Facebook and even Twitter, get to know the kinds of people you’ll be working with, their names (if possible), roles and the kind of company culture you’ll be entering.
This will just help you to remember more on the day, adapt your behaviour to impress other people and come across well-informed and perceptive. NB: make sure your LinkedIn profile is on anonymous or you might come across a bit eager!

3. Research the company

You should have done some research about the company, prior to your interview.
It’s a good idea to go over it again, familiarising yourself with the company, industry and what your job actually entails.
Also, if you have any questions, it’s a good idea to get them off your chest during the first week (without going completely overboard of course). This will help you to look and feel confident, knowledgeable and prepared.

4. Ask your boss

It’s always a good idea to email your new boss, prior to your start date and ask them what they’re expecting from you in your first week.
• Is there anything they’d like you to bring?
• Any preparation or research they’d like you to do?
• What kind of things will you even be doing?
If you get some things done, prior to your first week at work, then your initial workload won’t be as overwhelming – and your boss is bound to be dead impressed.

5. Rest

So, do you finish your current job on a Friday and start the new one on Monday? Don’t go too wild over the weekend, for goodness sake!
You really don’t want to be feeling tired, worn-out (or on the bitter end of a two-day hangover) on your first day. It’s just going to make you feel more anxious and sluggish. Instead, taking a nice, relaxing weekend will rejuvenate you and put you in great spirits.

6. Prepare some light conversation

“Weather’s bad today… isn’t it?” *Shudders. *
OK, I know this might seem a little bit overboard, but if you’re not a naturally chatty person, then that scary, awkward small-talk when you first meet someone can be a nightmare.
So, why not practice?
Think about the kinds of things that will make you seem interested and interesting (try to avoid all conversation about the weather).

7. Practice the commute.

On your first day, you really want to be arriving between 15 and 30 minutes early.
You’ll look committed, prompt and it will give you chance to settle in and say your “hellos” before the working day commences.
Of course, traffic, train delays and/or unforeseen circumstances could all affect your journey, so I recommend practicing your commute before you actually start.
Even better, practice it at the time you would normally be going to work (so you know what the traffic or trains are like at that time – and you don’t get lost).

8. Bring stationery

One would hope that your new company will be well prepared with all the stationery and equipment you need to get your job done.
But you never know.
So I always advise new-starters to take the most important things with them like pens, a pad of paper and a calculator (if you need it).

9. Enjoy yourself

My final piece of advice for you..? Enjoy the transition! During those first few weeks, you actually have a little leeway to make mistakes, act clueless and generally just settle in… so what is there to panic about? In a year’s time, you’ll look back and think all of your fears were silly.

Feel Ready?

Of course, now that you’ve done all the pre-first-day prep, it’s time to think about the day itself!
There are a number of things that will smooth things along and help you to make a great impression.

Here is somethings you can do to make a good first impression.

1. Get ready to introduce yourself…a lot.

I highly recommend coming up with a standard couple of lines about yourself – particularly if your previous work history is complicated – so that you don’t get tongue twisted during the inevitable 100,000,001 times you’re going to have to introduce yourself!
Be ready to answer:
• So what will you be doing with us?
• Where did you work before?
• Where do you live?
• Do you drive into work?
Questions like these may seem a bit cliché, but small talk is just your colleagues’ kind way of trying to make you feel welcome!

2. Smile like you mean it.

No matter what goes through your head during the day, keep that frown, upside down!
Those of you who suffer from “resting bitch face” should particularly heed this warning!
Walking out with a big grin plastered across your face may not seem natural to you, but it’s a vitally important step to coming across friendly and approachable.

3. Memorise names.

Every time you’re introduced to someone, do everything in your power to memorise their name!
Try word association, repeating it over and over again in your head or (if you have a chance) subtly write it down on a piece of paper.
Your new colleagues are bound to be impressed if you genuinely remember who they are.

Recruiter Pro Tip

I used to create my own little seating plan when I started at a new workplace (inconspicuously of course) making it a little easier to remember names.
(Usually with the help of a friendly colleague I trusted, filling in the gaps with me.)

4. Be enthusiastic and positive.

This is obviously a given.
Make sure that your body language is giving across the right, enthusiastic, ‘happy-to-be-here’ impression.
(See ‘resting bitch face’!.’)

5. Be proactive.

Have you ever felt like a burden during your first day of work?
Don’t worry we’ve all felt it; that nervous confusion when you’re not sure exactly what you should be doing and don’t really want to bother the boss!

Just do it!

I guarantee that your new manager is going to be a lot more annoyed if you’ve sat around doing nothing for an hour, than if you’ve taken initiative, spoken up and asked about your next task!

6. Ask for help.

In the same vein, if you’re struggling to complete a task, because you lack the knowledge, experience or skills, ask your boss, or a relevant colleague to help. From simple things like logging into your computer to complex technical issues; asking is always better than ignoring the problem and wasting time.

7. Work out the rules.

Your contract will outline all of the more important rules about what you can and cannot do at your workplace, from working hours and holidays to social media and clothing.
But there are also a lot of unwritten rules that you’ll have to look out for like ‘don’t eat hot food at the desk,’ ‘don’t throw food waste into the paper bins’ and ‘don’t put the air conditioning on without asking Jane (who sits beneath it!).’
Be on your guard during your first day (and first week) to suss out the dos and don’ts and try not to step on any toes.

8. Bring lunch.

If your colleagues or boss invite you out for lunch – GO!
This is your chance to bond and make friends, showing what a great, friendly person you are.
However, you should also bring lunch with you as a back-up plan, in case everyone brings a packed lunch to munch in the kitchen, eats at their desk or pops out on errands at lunchtime.
Bring something simple to eat – like a sandwich – so you’re ready for all types of lunchtime situations.
But most importantly; don’t bring smelly food! Do you really want to be known for making the entire office stink of fish?

9. Make effort with colleagues.

Within a few hours of being in the office, you’ll probably have worked out who you want to be friends with (and who you really don’t).
Align yourselves with people like yourself, but do be careful, you don’t want to find yourself as part of a ‘bitch clique’ too early on – this could lead other staff members to avoid you.

10. However, don’t be a “try-hard”.

Don’t overdo it!
You don’t want to look too desperate to make new friends.
If you get the feeling that someone doesn’t want to talk to you, move on and act cool!

11. Don’t overshare.

It’ll take you a while to work out who your trustworthy and not-so-trustworthy colleagues are, so don’t go spilling intimate secrets on your first day, no matter how well you’re getting on with someone.
Be professional, share conversationally (it’s perfectly fine to reveal that you have a husband and two children etc…) but don’t take it too far!
Certainly don’t reveal any information that could be used against you in the future!

12. Don’t bitch.

Stay out of the drama.
Most offices will have their fair share of tension and bitching – it’s an inevitability of spending so much time around the same people – just don’t get involved!
Even if colleagues approach you, be polite, smile and nod, but make it clear that you’ve only been there for a short time so you can’t possibly comment!
(Men who are reading this and thinking ‘well men don’t bitch, so this has nothing to do with me’ – you’re not fooling anyone.)

13. Don’t be a know-it-all!

Trust me, there’s nothing worse than a new employee who turns up and acts like they own the place!
There is always something new to learn at every new workplace and always someone more experienced to teach you (unless you’re the business owner of course…)
Replying to every suggestion with a ‘but at my last place, we did…’ is not a good move.

14. Be prepared to stay late!

The job might have been advertised as 9 – 5, but in this day and age, how often is that the reality?
When it reaches the end of the day, stick around and try and suss out the situation! Don’t be the first to leave. If you run out of things to do, then again, be proactive and ask your boss – he’ll no doubt send you on your way.
For now at least, you need to prove that you’re willing to go the extra mile!

15. Turn up on time.

This is so obvious that I don’t even know why I’m typing it…
If you’re late on your first day – it’ll be an immediate big fat red mark against your name!

16. Dress to Impress.

Now, it is important to look a little smarter than usual on your first day, but you don’t want to go overboard.
If you show up in a power suit while everyone else is in smart jeans and a t-shirt, then you’re probably going to come across as unapproachable and intimidating. I recommend getting in touch with HR before starting and asking them for an example of what to wear.

Summary.

Above all, else, relax!
Stressing yourself out over the little things isn’t going to do you any good and it’s going to come across badly to your colleagues too – “who’s the quiet little mouse in the office?”
If you’re a worrier, then at least act calm (easier said than done, I know).
Put a smile on your face, keep your back straight and chin up…it’ll be over before you know it!

Recruiter Pro Tip.

These are the UK’s most hated office habits according to HR Grapevine , so I’d steer away from them if I were you…
• Being regularly late
• Whining all the time
• Eating stinking food
• Taking lots of cigarette breaks
• Deliberately taking a long time to do something/constant procrastination
• Not replacing things that run out
• Talking on the phone too loudly
• Having bad hygiene
• Gossiping
• Spraying deodorants, aftershaves and perfumes at desk
• Coming to work when very ill
• Texting/using mobile phone all day
• Having an untidy desk
• Talking too much about private life
• Invading personal space
• Not making a tea round
• Humming/whistling/singing
• Constantly tapping/clicking pens/typing too loud
• Stealing other people’s food/lunch
• Using jargon
It’s also worth keeping your body language in check! You can reveal an awful lot about yourself, just from a blink of the eye!

Good luck!

Anxiety

WHAT IS ANXIETY?

(including generalized anxiety disorder, panic attacks, PTSD, OCD, agoraphobia, nervous illness, nerves, overwhelming stress, traumatic stress, and other anxiety disorders)

PANIC ATTACKS ARE A PART OF OUR BODY'S FIGHT, FLIGHT, OR FREEZE RESPONSE. THEY REACH THEIR PEAK WITHIN A MATTER OF MINUTES AT WHICH TIME THEY CAN BE VERY UNCOMFORTABLE AND INCLUDES SOME (OR MANY) OF THE FOLLOWING ANXIETY SENSATIONS:

• Chest pain or discomfort
• Nausea or abdominal distress
• Feeling dizzy, unsteady, light-headed, or faint
• Chills or heat sensations
• Derealization (feelings of unreality) or depersonalization (being detached from oneself)
• Fear of losing it or “going crazy”
• Fear of dying
• Restlessness.
• General sense of dread.
• Feeling constantly "on edge"
• Difficulty concentrating.
• Irritability.
• Feelings of panic, fear, and uneasiness
• Problems sleeping
• Cold or sweaty hands and/or feet
• An inability to be still and calm
• Dry mouth
• Numbness or tingling in the hands or feet
• Muscle tension
• Palpitations, pounding heart, or accelerated heart rate
• Sweating
• Trembling or shaking
• Feeling shortness of breath or smothering
• Feelings of choking

This is not a comprehensive list of the sensations that you may feel when panic arises from your anxiety or PTSD, simply a list of some common occurrences. Since anxiety impacts nearly all of the parts of our bodies, we may feel any number of different things when we are anxious.

If you are reading this and thinking, "that's me alright, but what do I do now?" Then you have come to the right place!

Step one is to start teaching your body to calm down and begin living a more mindful life. Other factors may include diet, lifestyle, movement for healing anxiety, and many more which you will learn through our coaching.

Even Better, all of our Anxiety Coaching is done by phone or video conferencing so you can get help from wherever you are!

What could be more convenient than online or phone anxiety coaching?

NOW WHERE DO YOU TURN FOR ANXIETY-PANIC HELP?

We often look for a process or magic cure that will "fix" our anxiety.

We try all sorts of stuff, like:
• eat special diet
• drink medicinal teas
• give up caffeine
• cut our sugar intake
• go organic
• see a psychic
• find religion
• and just about anything else that someone, somewhere claimed on the internet to help with their anxiety.
• hypnosis
• wearing magnets
• drugs
• consult a shaman
• check out eastern medicine
• herbs
• study zen
• try yoga
• art therapy
• find a guru

That is a pretty long list --right!?

Look, we're not putting any of that down...we've been there too. In fact several of those things are very helpful and good for you, BUT they don't take away your anxiety.

AND THAT IS WHAT WE ARE HERE TO TEACH YOU,
TO TEACH YOU TO THINK AND ADAPT IN A NEW WAY TO CIRCUMSTANCES THAT WILL FREE YOU FROM THE ANXIETY AT THE CORE.

Contact Us

WHERE WE ARE

New premises coming soon after lockdown!